mister_x

Sat, 28 Oct 2006 06:55:24 GMT

seriously. fuck this LJ.

m

Tue, 22 Feb 2005 07:30:01 GMT

i have a metaphysical disease. there is no cure or treatment. symptoms do not maifest. it comes from within the spirit and is known by many names.

one of them is love.

with holly and hemlock.
-x.

i miss you.

REPOST SUNDAY

Sun, 13 Feb 2005 14:02:29 GMT

dad's running another marathon today.

[01] Reply with your name and I will write something about you.

[02] I will then tell you what song/band reminds me of you.

[03] Next, I will tell you who you remind me of, celebrity/animated or otherwise.

[04] Last, I will try to name a single word that best describes you.

[05] Put this in your journal

fine are the guilty pleasues of life.

Tue, 08 Feb 2005 02:37:52 GMT

these are the facts as they stand:

.i bleed when cut.
others pray before god while i pray before tube amplified POWER.
.i can make the contents of an entire bottle of plum wine vanish in one night.
.i'm unmodified save for dental work.
.i frequent 4chan.org.
this is pure self indulgence.
.i have spontaneous nosebleeds.
.i sleep beneath the rasterized gaze on the one i adore.
.i am a habitual diphenhydramine abuser.
.i use an old 110 film camera.
the phone in my room only gets wrong numbers and telemarketers.
i'll never hear silence. when there is nothing i hear only the ringing.
irony gravitates towards me.
i give freely.
i have "Frank's Wild Years" comitted to memory.
i own lots of useless things.
i expect nothing in return.

the one thing i have wanted more than anything else in my life seems to hang forever just beyond my reach. i stretch as far as i can but the brass ring merely brushes past my fingers, unaware that she is so desired.

or is she?

i've said what i had to say. you needn't apologize for how i feel. i can understand if i don't have enough to offer or if my company is now displeasing to you. the space is still empty no matter how long or how deeply i sleep. i simply love and adore you. there is nothing more or less to give than just that. ... ....

Sat, 29 Jan 2005 21:14:19 GMT

fuck this shit. i only wanted reciprocation. after all, a slave is nothing without a master.

now i'm just a stray. a raindog. come so far but the rain has washed away the line of bread crumbs that lead back to home. if i could simply stop feeling this i would. but i can't. toss it in a fire, throw it from the church, smash it, drown it. once you put it on the wall you can't take it back down.

harder to get rid of than tattoos.

Tue, 18 Jan 2005 19:45:25 GMT

i'm going all out. i will set a date for D3. July 4th. just beautiful. i will make it happen.

abandon all hope and embrace the destruction.
embrace your bestial instincts.
unchain your animals.
let rage flow unfettered.

hey, i thought boyfriends are supposed to bring back flowers. not coke. just a thought.

x = (sick + tired)^3

Sat, 08 Jan 2005 19:47:55 GMT

Designated Destruction Day is coming. every gets a lame gift and a terrible gift. you pick one to smash because i will have a pink slegdehammer. there will be at least two television sets and plenty of other things for demolition, most likely to be followed by tagging and barbecue.

i'm waiting for it to dry out some, then i'll start scouting good spots and shop around for cheap malfunctioning electronics with good noise potential. the place has to be dry just incase we fuck up the extension cords and have a short with exposed wire.

as it is we won't get a week for the ground to dry out enough untill late march, so you bastards will have time to shop for clothes you'd get dirty in and a smashing implement of your choice to modify.

the location would need:
- plenty of open space
- electricity so we can get static from the tvs and stereos
- minimal interfering traffic [nosy fuckig people and the cops they'll call]

what would be nice to have but isn't absolutely necessary:
- a dumpster. i'm not leaving that smashed shit sitting around
- taggable structures
- plumbing

other stuff needed to make it happen:
- things to destroy
- things to destroy things with
- fire extinguishers [plural. we should have at least 2]
- a loud stereo for music and NOT smashing
- brooms and stuff

what you should bring:
- some kind of face and/or eye protection
- clothes you won't mind fucking up
- a custom smashing device
- food and/or drink for the barbecue. this gets organized once a date is set.
- spray paint
- an appetite
- pent up frustration
- an alibi

again!

Mon, 03 Jan 2005 12:34:02 GMT

6:30 in the godamn fucking morning and i'm still drinking. still thinking about her. still not done trying to drown what i really feel. someone fuckign call me and telk me out of this stupid fucking shit i've gotten myself into. see if i had pills, i'd be asleep. if i'm lucky i won't wake up, but no. no pills left. jesus. is it so wrong to love? hey, marina, i mean you, hon.

214x632x3534

watch me as i stagger off the edge into the bad place. its where the bad things are. little monsters that pertend to be my friends.

fuck.

things i need

Sun, 02 Jan 2005 07:09:52 GMT

fucking tired of feeling fucking tired. i'm full of wine and lead weights in my chest. i need another drink. i need a cigarette. i need someone to curl up next to. i need a megaphone so i can tell the world i live her. i need a sledgehammer so i can smash the everliving fuck out of anything that gets in my way. i need sex. i need coffee. i need a vacation. i need a handgun to brandish. i need to drive to detroit. i need to get away. i need her.

fucking end. now, SOMEONE GET ME ANOTHER FUCKING DRINK.

[just fucking call me. doesn't matter if i'm asleep or not. dreams no longer offer the comfort they once did anyways. 214x632x3534]

sting of the humbug

Sat, 25 Dec 2004 17:40:30 GMT

this is something you should read. i have an H.G. Wells type of vibe coming through me that suggests yuletide privatization is a viable possibility in the near future.

sleep dep has got me irritable. well.. more irritable. i need a vacation, maybe a road trip to get away from the family for a while.

santa is really solid snake. it makes sense.

also.

Sat, 18 Dec 2004 02:42:22 GMT

o. First name: x
o. Middle name: x
o. Last name: x
o. Nickname(s): x
o. Birthday: 4-16-83
o. Height: 5'9"
o. Hair color: black
o. Eye color: brown
o. Glasses: yes
o. Contacts: possibly
o. Braces: no
o. Hair short or long: joey ramone
o. Where you were born: toronto
o. Where you now live: murphy, tx
o. Astrology sign: aries
o. Chinese zodiac sign: boar
o. Nationality: american
o. Bad habits: cloves, alcohol, drugs, rock'n'Roll, sex, videogames, skipping class, procrastnation, the list goes on.
o. Piercing:none
o. Tattoos: soon?
o. Are you still in school: university
o. Current grade: second year
o. Favorite grade: none
o. Worst grade: all of them
o. Favorite teacher: split Ms.Boltrushek. i had her class at ccccd, so bubbly and goofy. i should have asked her out after finals.
o. Worst teacher: lots. i don;t feel like getting started.
o. Favorite subject: art / theater / music
o. Worst subject: writing / math
o. Buy or bring lunch: buy
o. School sports: violence
o. High school: Mac Arthur
o. School activities: hate
o. Favorite memory: getting the fuck out.
o. Worst memory: the whole thing.

FAVORITE
o. Number: 36
o. Clothing brand: military surplus / thrift store junk / stuff i modify
o. Shoes: wasteland boots and nike Rifts
o. Saying: fuck.
o. TV show: mythbusters, good eats, and iron chef
o. Sport: violence
o. Vegetables: any
o. Fruit: cherries, oranges, and mangosteen
o. Movie: Wild Zero
o. Actress: natalie portman and christina ricci
o. Actor: Johnny Depp.
o. Candy: stuff with peanut butter
o. Gum: clove chewing gum
o. Scent: cloves and myrrh
o. Ice cream: gelato
o. Colors: black, olive drab, brown
o. Season: fall
o. Holidays: Halloween, new years
o. Band: Guitar Wolf, Tom Waits
o. Thing in your room: big wall poster i made
o. Place to be: with marina
o. TV channel: food network
o. Junk food: pocky, hapi chili snacks
o. Fast food place: chick fil-a, wendy's
o. Shape: spiral
o. Time of day: 4 am
o. Mall: none
o. Swear word: fuck
o. Months: april & october

PRIVATE LIFE
o. Boyfriend/girlfriend: sort of
o. Do you love anyone right now: reaching new capacities every day
o. Have you ever been in love: yes
o. How many hearts have you broken: one
o. How many people broke your heart: plenty
o. So what's your bf/gf like: pill head, silly when we getto sharing the chemical halo
o. Do you go more by looks or personality: personality
o. Do you smoke: djarum
o. How about weed: taking the 5th
o. Acid: no
o. How about a little ecstasy: i'd hit it
o. Crack, heroin, anything else: fuck no.

FRIENDS
o. Best friend(s): a few
o. Wish you talk to more than you do: no
o. How many friends do you think you have: about 10 or so close friends
o. How many do you actually hang out with: 4 or 5
o. Who drives you insane: marina, but I love her
o. Ever lose a good friend because you took it to the next level: no
o. Loudest: amber
o. Shyest: me
o. Best hair: me
o. Can always make you laugh: nick
o. Most athletic: nick
o. Shortest: lisa
o. Best singing voice: not sure. need karaoke night to sort that out
o. Skinniest: chris
o. Nicest: nick
o. Best personality: nick
o. Biggest drug user: either me or marina

HAVE YOU EVER
o. Flashed someone: on the internet
o. Gotten really really REALLY wasted: no more circle of death
o. Gone to jail/juvenile detention: no
o. Skateboarded: no
o. Skinny dipped: no
o. Stolen anything from a store: yes
o. Kissed someone of the same sex: nick
o. Been to a concert: plenty
o. Been to another country: lots
o. Talked back to an adult: often
o. Given money to some homeless person: yes. i want it back
o. Cried to get out of trouble: no
o. Kissed a friend's brother/sister: no

THE LAST THING
o. You ate: curry
o. You drank: root beer
o. The last place you went: tiny graffiti shop
o. Last thing you bought: leather jacket
o. Last person you saw: the folks
o. Last person you talked to: marina
o. Last song you heard: stuff by The Falkon

IN THE PAST MONTH HAVE I
o. Drank alcohol: last night
o. Gotten drunk: no
o. Gotten high: yes
o. Had sex: not with other people
o. Went to the movies: with marina
o. Ate ice cream: yea
o. Gave someone a present: that's coming up
o. Got a present: in a way
o. Slept at someone's house: no
o. Made a new friend: yes

Mon, 06 Dec 2004 22:33:00 GMT

there are some things not even rock'n'roll can fix.

endurance trial.

Sat, 04 Dec 2004 07:38:11 GMT

a test of my mettle. she's off to lafayette most likely untill after new years. a few weeks worth of contact binge. how long will i last untill separation anxiety kicks in and i really start to lose it. and damn. when i lose it, i go off the deep end.

so here it starts. the first hour. i talked to her just before she left her house, hearing her upset over the phone is so hard because i just want to be there for her. this isn't going to be easy. i see a bottle or two of jack between here and the end of this.

cirque

Fri, 26 Nov 2004 20:25:22 GMT

We put up our tent on a dark
Green knoll, outside of town by
The train tracks and a seagull dump
Topping the bill was Horse Face Ethel
And her 'Marvellous Pigs In Satin'

We pounded our stakes in the ground
All powder brown
And the branches spread like scary
Fingers reaching
We were in a pasture outside Kankakee

And One Eyed Myra, the queen of
The galley who trained the
Ostrich and the camels
She looked at me squinty with her
One good eye in a Roy Orbison
T-shirt as she bottle fed
An orangutan named Tripod

And then there was
Yodeling Elaine the
Queen of the air who wore a
Dollar sign medallion and she
Had a tiny bubble of spittle
Around her nostril and a
Little rusty tear, for she had
Lassoed and lost another
Tipsy sailor

And over in
The burnt yellow tent
By the frozen tractor, the
Music was like electric sugar
And Zuzu Bolin played
'Stavin' Chain' and Mighty
Tiny on the saw and he
Threw his head back with a
Mouth full of gold teeth
And they played 'Lopsided heart'
And 'Moon over Dog Street'
And by the time they played "Moanin Low"
I was soakin' wet and wild eyed
And Doctor Bliss slipped me a
Preparation and I fell asleep with
'Livery Stable Blues' in my ear

And me and Molley Hoey drank
Pruno and Koolaid and she had a
Tattoo gun made out of a cassette
Motor and a guitar string and
She soaked a hanky in 3 Roses
And rubbed it on the spot
And drew a rickety heart and
A bent arrow and it hurt like hell

And Funeral Wells spun
Poodle Murphy on the target
As he threw his hardware,
Only once in Sheboygan did he miss
At a matinee on Diamond Pier and
She'd never let him forget it

They were doing two shows and she
Had a high fever and he took
Off a piece of her ear and
Tip Little told her she should
Leave the bum
But Poodle said, "He fetched me
Last time I run."
But I'd like to hammer this ring into a bullet
And I wish I had some whiskey and a gun
My dear

And I wish I had some whiskey and a gun
My dear

circus

Fri, 19 Nov 2004 07:50:13 GMT

dead limbs ought to be pruned, it promotes new growth.
only you can reach the branch from that side of the fence
but you can borrow my pruning hook,
it was once a spear.

marina, i had one of those dreams about you again.
seriously, take a step back from my dreamspace
i'm getting too much of a good thing.
go ahead, burn me out.
mistreat me.

fino a che non amiamo ancora........
your caliginous peregrinator,
-x

emnity

Sat, 13 Nov 2004 03:24:46 GMT

i am and always have been my own worst enemy
doubts, fears, and misgivings are reflected and given more power over my mind
there are funhouse mirrors and clouds of smoke
my illusions lead me over the cliff into the real world i have done my best to ignore

it is many things in many forms
the looking glass
the bottle
a drug...
[your] love.

it came back, that old familiar feeling
my own sensory filter giving me over edited and modified information
coming apart
putting it back together
coming apart
putting it back together again
a puzzle without a solution
not a single one
many
infinite

wearing out
spread thin
every touch is precussive
and your touch suddenly feels icy

was it always like this?
or have i finally lost the numbness
only to want it back so badly

nothing is ever truly appreciated untill it is lost forever
nothing
remember that
if you ever remember anything
enjoy every second you have

reality check me
right into the boards

getting is passe
wanting is a sin
giving is what i had intended to do

fino a che non amiamo ancora. .... ...
your caliginous peregrinator,

-x

p.p.s. the point is that when i woke up next to you, i realized i never wanted to wake up alone again. that is the naked fact and i can kill it if i must. i'd rather not, but that's how i feel.

hurt me. heal me. i meant what i said then, yours. completely.
then i gave you my blood.

obey.

Fri, 05 Nov 2004 06:31:06 GMT

Friday Nov. 5th
The Red Elvises @
The Sons of Hermann Hall
3414 Elm st. Dallas, Tx
Doors @ 9:00 pm

The Red Elvises once again return to Dallas to play a benefit show for KNON 89.3. Come out, get a drink, see a great show and support listener sponsored radio.

arg, dad bareley got our six flags tickets in time. no wonder where my procrastinatory habits come from. so it looks like youse guys are outta luck 'till next time. but next time is going to kick ass.

i will bite you. .... ...

invoking my first amendment rights.

Thu, 28 Oct 2004 10:19:49 GMT

i do not like the president.

AP news snippet from august.
in mp3 and a full transcript

after his misspoken comment there was no crowd reaction. thank you, america.

~~WHEEE!!~~

headshots and holograms

Sat, 23 Oct 2004 11:19:49 GMT

checmically shrinkwrapped. i took whats left of the nyquil and dayquil i had and chased that with several benadryl. that was at 5 pm friday. thirteen hours and the haze is lifting the void where the chems were is now a distane hunger. the stuff makes me sleep and wake up again unable to. i think i need a new hobby.

also, very important news:

The Red Elvises are returning to Dallas for another amazing show.
November 5th 2004
at Sons of Hermann Hall
3414 Elm St (214)747-4422
Doors @ 9:00pm

Kick ass ROKENROL from Siberia, these surf soviets are gonna rock dallas all night with a double set. make sure you stick around till the very end of the show!

this show is a benefit for KNON, the only local radio station that is truly OURS. you can get advance tickets for a $10 donation from http://knon.org/ advance tickets or not you'll want to be there early. last time, the line was out the door!

gr

Thu, 21 Oct 2004 07:27:28 GMT

i may make this blog friends only since you're the only ones responding. today i got an awesome brown japanese shirt, now i need an obi and jutte then i can go bust some heads. Jami had a screening of her cable acess tv show, the second episode was great and i can't wait till the next. fucking great cheesy monster movie fun all over.

i've come back to missing you t h i s much again.
all of you as my five senses have experienced.
your lips
your scent
your face
your voice

read carefully and you'll see that one counts as two..

my aim is terrible` ```` ```

withdrawal symptoms

Mon, 11 Oct 2004 03:33:20 GMT

no fix. no cloves. no marina. i have the junkie shakes and my shoulder hurts.
i can usually go a day without, past that it gets bad. the need for cloves is gone but that only leaves more room in my head for thoughts of her. the thoughts are always there, right alongside the ringing in my ears.

my bed is empty. tonight i sleep on the floor.
my arms are empty. tonight i cuff arms behind my back.
my soul is thirsty. tomorrow i will drink of you.

my current desktop image.

i have nothing better to do.

Mon, 04 Oct 2004 03:38:12 GMT

another fine opportunity to wax egotistical and write about myself.

.. CURRENT .. ]
- Current Clothes: damp towel
- Current Mood: in need of contact
- Current Music: The Dillinger Escape Plan - Come to Daddy
- Current Taste: the remnant of her lip gloss on my water bottle
- Current Make-up: at a-kon
- Current Hair: wet
- Current Smell: mint shampoo
- Current thing I ought to be doing: rhetoric and paleo assignments
- Current Desktop Picture: Marina
- Current Favorite Artist: Dave Kelly
- Current Favorite Group: Guitar Wolf
- Current Book: Dune
- Current CD in CD Player: Marina's mp3s
- Current tape in VCR: FUCK VCR.
- Current Color Of Toenails: normal
- Current Refreshment: liter of water
- Current Worry: how drunk should we have gotten last night?

[ LAST PERSON.. ]
- You Touched: Marina
- You Talked to: dad
- You Hugged: Marina
- You Instant messaged: Tommy dedkatvox
- You Yelled At: mom
- You Kissed: Marina

[ FAV0URITE .. ]
- Foods: grilled ckicken
- Drink: water
- Color: red / black
- Album: Guitar Wolf - Jet Generation
- Shoes: my wasteland boots
- Candy: Marina
- Animal: wolf
- TV Show: burn in hell
- Song: Tom Waits - San Diego Serenade
- Vegetable: the kind you can pick up at the coma ward
- Fruit: Nick
- Cartoon: Teen Titans

[ ARE Y0U .. ]
- Understanding: yes
- Open-minded: yes
- Arrogant: fuck no
- Insecure: sometimes
- Interesting: very
- Easily Amused: ha
- Random: always
- Hungry: when i have to be
- Friendly: Yes
- Smart: wise
- Moody: sometimes
- Childish: often
- Independent: yes
- Healthy: eventually
- Emotionally Stable: maybe...
- Shy: deathly
- Difficult: on some things
- Bored Easily: sometimes
- Messy: yes
- Thirsty: always
- Responsible: fuck no
- Obsessed: marina
- Angry: often
- Sad: sometimes
- Happy: when i'm with Marina
- Hyper: when in crisis
- Trusting: overly
- Talkative:

[ WH0 D0 Y0U WANT T0 .. ]
- Kill: right now, Jimmy Swaggart. eventually, the world
- Slap: my cunt of a fundamentalist christian ex
- Get High With: Marina. i promise i;ll get the stuff next time
- Tickle: marina
- Look Like: Guitar Wolf
- Talk To Offline: Marina
- Talk To Online: Marina

[ HAVE Y0U EVER .. ]
- Been kissed? and i'm damn good at it.
- Done Drugs? yes
- Eaten an entire package of Oreos? almost
- Been on stage? often
- Dumped Someone? yes
- Gotten in a car accident? yes
- Been in love? possibly

[ FAV0URITE .. ]
-Shampoo? the mint kind
-Toothpaste? that extreme clean shit
-Soap? whatever soap that isn;t the one i'm using now
-Room in your house? my room
-Instrument? black gibson SG

[ EITHER/0R .. ]
-Coffee or hot chocolate? triple black + djarum black
-big or little? just right
-Lace or satin? leather
-New or old? well used
-Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt? JOHNNY DEPP, FUCKERS!

-Vogue or Cosmopolitan? Cosmopolitan
-Jeans or cords? JET-leather
-Sweater or sweatshirt? hoodie
-T-shirt or tank top? long sleeve button up
-Skirt or dress? skirt
-Wool or cotton? leather
-Rose or Lily? fire
-Oldies or pop? JET-Rock'n'Roll
-Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? yes. i think..
-Do you have a best friend? two

[ IN THE LAST 24 H0URS, HAVE Y0U .. ]
- Cried? no
- Helped someone? yes
- Bought something? yes
- Gotten sick? almost
- Gone to the movies? Wild Zero at home
- Gone out for dinner? no
- Said "I love you"? should have
- Written a real letter? depricated.
- Moved on? no need
- Talked to an ex? No
- Missed an ex? that CUNT
- Talked to someone you have a crush on? yes
- Had a serious talk? sort of
- Missed someone? yes
- Hugged someone? yes
- Fought with your parents? just my mom
- Fought with a friend? no

[ D0 Y0U .. ]
- Wear eye shadow? no
- Put on a "front"? no
- Have a crush on someone? yes
- Eat with your mouth open? no
- If you got a tattoo, where would you get it? arm
- What color is your floor/carpet in your room? blood stain
- What was the last CD you bought? Jeff Buckley - sketches for my sweetheart the drunk
- How did you spend last summer? working as an orientation leader for colin county community college
- When's the last time you showered? before i started writing the fucking thing
- Are you lonely? right now
- Are you happy? when i'm with marina
- Are you wearing pajamas? sort of
- Are you talking to someone online? yes
- What is your astrological sign? Planet of the Wolves

burning alive

Sat, 25 Sep 2004 16:20:42 GMT

i went out with aeasa again last night. we had originally intended to go see a multimedia show called beta test at UTD, i got to her place to pick her up a bit late, we sat and smoked for a minute and decided to say fuckall with beta test and skip right to the good stuff. so we went straight to the lebanese pastry cafe Afrah Pastries in richardson for a good hookah. we sat and talked and took in the delicious and fragrant shisha. anyone interested in going should contasct me, i'll be going there again in a few weeks. they also have excellent gelato as well as sandwiches, cheeses, salads and drinks. afterwards we went to dedkatvox's and watched iron chef rice battle. morimoto kicked the challenger's ass.

we had some more cloves and i took marina home, on the way back i introduced her to the dreamland sounds of tom waits. she loved alice. i dropped her off and went home. we talked some more online once i got home. i sent her some new pictures i took of myself which she also loved. the score now in the hot picture game is 2-2. that's an official challenge, let the game begin.

fill this out, fuckers.

1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. Do you have a crush on me?
5. Would you kiss me?
6. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
7. Describe me in one word.
8. What was your first impression?
9. Do you still think that way about me now?
10. What reminds you of me?
11. If you could give me anything what would it be?
12. How well do you know me?
13. When's the last time you saw me?
14. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
15. Are you going to put this on your blog and see what I say about you?

spece left intentionally blank

Wed, 22 Sep 2004 08:01:39 GMT

i have all the time in the world. i can be the snake waiting, stalking the mouse. i can be the mouse, oblivious to the iminent danger looming just out of its sight,

if i had a bottling company, i could be tapped to bottle love. even then, it seems bittersweet. more so, i feel like the little left over piece when you take apart a radio or vcr to fix whatever's wrong. "oh, look an extra part," and i go in the drawer next to and under the half used birthday candles and grocery receipts from last year.

words cannot correctly describe what i feel for her.

the hand of sleep pounds at the door of my conciousness. sleep can wait. not by the hair of my chinny-chin-chin.

i've been up too long. crash imminent?

your caliginous peregrinator,
-x

i see you in my dreams.

Mon, 20 Sep 2004 07:06:26 GMT

i hope these days are becoming less rare. i got up early and picked up marina to go to the Akimatsuri festival in richardson. it was really crowded, i hear the turn out is way up from last years. we got some una-don which was really good and shared some ramune. later we met up with ayanamilisa and chris from XVSO then some friends from UTD. we watched the aikido andkendo demonstrations then sat and smoked behind the kendo and iaito booth right next to the akita club. the wether was nice enough to where i took a decent nap under a tree while marina played tactics ogre. i woke up and missed the beginning of the raffle, i didn't win anything so we left to go hang out at my place.

the monolithic black slab of a tv i have installed in the media room is still going underutilized. i was planning on pwning everyone on soul calibur 2 and guilty gear xx but lisa and crew dissappeard after i took a nap. we watched some videos and went through the highlight of my mp3 collection. today also happened to be a surprise birthday party for my uncle win's friend, chad, so they had a cook out and i introduced marina to the entire family. apparently the surprise party was a surprise to the people throwing it as well, some spur of the moment thing because win's old friends were in town.we ate and watched a few games of pool vollleyball. after a while we went out for a walk, the weather was just getting nice. i took marina home after being interrupted by a nosebleed. we listened to medulla most of the way back.

so here i sit, sunburned, head aching, tired, sleep deprived, and alone..

my cuts are on the inside.